Il pane sulla nutella o la nutella sul pane?

Per me l'essenza delle persone si vede dalle piccole cose. Piu' giorni passano e piu' mi accorgo che l'abito fa il monaco, eccome.

E non solo, mi spingero' a sfatare un altro mito stasera: le prime impressioni contano piu' delle ultime perche' sono pure, oneste, prive di condizionamenti. 

Tutto cio', l'ho dedotto oggi mentre preparavo un sandwich col burro di noccioline (non per me, Dio solo sa quanto lo odio). 

Eh, allora, c'ho messo troppo burro e poi ho dovuto prendere il coltello e ripassarlo per toglierne un po'.

E cosi mi sono fermata un attimo a pensare a quando ero piccola e a scuola ci facevano portare la merenda delle 10:30. 

Di solito questa consisteva di un panino, per i comuni mortali avvolto in carta stagnola, per i piu' fortunati acquistato al supermercato vicino casa. 

Una volta la settimana circa, ogni bambino trovava la sorpresa del panino con la nutella nello zainetto. Era un po' un evento e ce n'era sempre piu' di uno, visto che in classe eravamo in 20. 

La sfida pero', non consisteva nel fatto di avere un panino con la nutella, quello ce l'avevano tutti prima o poi. La sfida, invece, era QUANTA nutella ci fosse dentro. 

C'erano tanti tipi di panini quanti tipi di genitori. 

E io, senza conoscerli tutti, cercavo di indovinare che tipo di persone fossero le mamme di questi bambini. Il tutto lo decretavo arbitrariamente, in funzione della quantita' di nutella sperperata o appena strusciata sulle fette di pane casereccio.

La mamma di Sara, era la pietra dello scandalo. Sono convinta che dopo 20 anni stia ancora usando lo stesso barattolo di vetro per i suoi nipotini magari. Con quella media di nutella usata per panino, ce ne avra' fatti un migliaio. 

A guardarlo quel pane era piu' un bianco sporco, appena macchiato, quasi come se ci fosse cascato sopra un po' di caffe' giusto per dargli una colorata. La crema di nocciola e cacao, era praticamente inesistente perche' assorbita del tutto tra i buchi del pane e la crosta. Sara mangiava pane con il sogno della nutella, non pane e nutella. Ma per lei faceva lo stesso, perche' non conosceva di meglio.

A me pero' faceva un po' pena a volte e un po' di invidia altre. 

Il mio panino colmo di cioccolato che usciva dai lati e che dovevo leccare per non farlo straripare non mi lasciava niente a desiderare, non avrei mai goduto nel mangiarlo. 

C'erano percio', le mamme come quella di Sara, anche se spero che cosi esosa di cioccolata lo fosse solo lei sulla faccia della terra, e poi c'erano quelle come la mia che dovevi prima leccarne tutto l'extra e poi potevi mangiare e ti venivano 10 carie a panino. E poi c'erano le mamme-via di mezzo. Quelle che guardavi il panino e pensavi "dunque vediamo un po'... famiglia alquanto equilibrata, di mezzi modesti ma benestante, mantengono l'ordine e la disciplina con i figli ma senza esagerare, direi sulla 40ina." E tutte le volte, ma dico proprio tutte, ci azzeccavo. E poi era facile perche' si vedeva anche dai figli, miei compagni di classe. Quelli che avevano piu' nutella nel pane, di solito, erano quelli un po' piu' viziati, magari un po' capricciosi, coi vestiti di marca, spesso quelli che si sentivano male improvvisamente e arrivava il papa' a prenderli con lo sguardo preoccupato. 

Chissa poi perche', in 5 anni di elementari e 3 di medie, Sara non si e' mai sentita male.

E cosi, mi chiedo, se ho messo tutto quel burro di noccioline nel panino del mio bambino... cosa significhera'? :-) 

Alla prossima, baci a tutti e grazie per la lettura.

Sonia

To live is to learn

"Vivere e' cominciare" (To live is to begin) said Cesare Pavese.
Now, I am no match with Pavese but I still would like to put my 2 cents in this. I would say that not only to live is to begin but also to learn.
So, if Cesare and I would ever write a book together ;-) it would go something like this "To live is to begin and to live is to learn new things".
Some people say life is a journey. I say life is a trip. A journey is too long for me, I want it to be little trips, like 2-3 miles long, no more than that. So that you have enough time to go visit many more places, rather than just one.
In light of this life policy that I hold, I usually spend my extra time, as a hobby, trying to learn something new. It might be an activity, a sport (rarely a sport), a new expression in english (I love those). Yesterday, just to give you an example, I heard the expression "pity party" for the first time. I thought it was absolutely brilliant. Both words start with the same letter, they kind of rhyme and they make perfect sense. In a short, concise and precise way, "pity party" does not fail to give you an exact picture.
For those of you who, like me, had never heard this before, the expression refers to those situations where you have a problem, you know you have a problem, but rather than fixing it, you'd rather complain about it and pity yourself over it. Isn't it marvelous?
The other day I heard "one upper" for the first time too. This one also is a masterpiece in my opinion. A "one-upper" is a person who likes to show off and is always one step ahead of you. Beautiful. :-)
New idioms are not all I learn though. I am constantly looking for opportunities to learn and when they don't come naturally, which most of the time they do if you are attentive and careful enough, I go look for them.
A few months ago I went and bought a guitar. Did I know how to play it? No. I have been a piano aficionado for a while now but the guitar... never. At the time, it had been a few weeks since I had learned anything new, so I decided to buy it. Last week I took my first lesson from a friend. Now I have a whole new world to walk into, the world of strings, chords and comfortable, easy music. All that, for 200$.
Another thing I love to do is to watch, to observe other people's behaviors and attitudes. I adore this. I look at the way they react to things, good or bad, happy or sad. I look at their body language, what they're really trying to say after you remove all the social rules and the political correctness. I try to look into their eyes and straight into their hearts. Then I learn from them. Sometimes I learn that I should never act like them, some other times I learn I should be more like them. But still, I learn something.
If you take life as daily, small grocery store trips, where you discover something new and then you move on... I guess you'll never run the risk of getting bored. I dread this, my biggest fear in life is getting bored. Therefore, I try to turn everything (or most things) into something exciting. I must admit though, there are a few things, just a few, like baseball and numbers, that I just can't seem to find exciting, no matter what. ;-)
That's all folks. Kisses to all.
Sonia

Angels

I have never been one to believe in such self indulgent and self reassuring concepts as that of guardian angels. Many times in the past I've had to put up with scientifically challengeable narrations of how people felt protected in a hard or dangerous situation, as if someone was "watching over them". We have all heard these kinds of stories in pretty much every culture. For me, I've heard it in English, "guardian angels", in Spanish "angeles de la guarda" and, of course, in Italian "angeli custodi". So I reached the conclusion that these sorts of beliefs were just a way to pat oneself on the shoulder, to give one self a hug in lack of anyone else doing you the favor, a sort of self comforting theory to cling to when one needs to believe they're not alone. Which, unfortunately, they are.
For some reason, not too hard to understand, we do not like to feel alone, and this is where a lot of trouble and misplaced theories of life start. Because of man's inability to handle and accept the fact that ultimately, we ARE alone, and nobody, not even our husbands, wives, parents or kids can do anything to change this fact.
So, along with many other religions, support groups, philosophies and simple beliefs, the concept of "guardian angel" is just another way to cope with loneliness. At the cost of sounding materialistic and offending a few people who so strongly trust in them.
Now, why am I burdening you with all this?
Well, as it often happens, sometimes, our most positive convictions are shaken to the very core. This happens to everybody, I guess, even to scientists and atheists, at some point in their life, something will happen to them that will, if not change, at least shake their rationales.
Now I am not an atheist and hardly a scientist. I am quite the opposite in fact, but I've still always been the type to not just embark in those "faith only based" journeys. I guess you could say I'm like Saint Thomas, I am willing to do the walk, but I need to know why and it's gotta make sense. This has been an obstacle to my peace of mind many times in my life. I need proof and I need a  reason if I'm gonna bend or change myself for something. I guess I'm just not a follower, it doesn't come easy for me.
But back to the main reason I'm even typing this. A few days ago I experienced one of those mystic feelings I have heard tales about for so long.
I found myself lost and in danger and somehow I came out of it alive and happy. It seemed as if everybody around me had been warned "hey this girl needs help, you better do something about it".
So I made it. I was able to not only survive it but find so much help from the people around me, strangers who didn't have to help me. It felt like I was in this "safe bubble" in the middle of chaos, where I was untouchable and where everything was laid out for me so that I didn't have to worry. It felt, I guess, as if I was not alone, not even for a minute.
At the end of the day, the craziest one in my life I could say, I learned a few lessons and I even had some fun. I learned the other side of America, the one where people are not as rich, maybe they go around with a grocery bag as a purse, they peel apples with a knife at the bus station, they dress however the hell they want, they sing in the metro and, most importantly, they HELP each other. They have this notion that they need to help just as much as they need help. I learned that modest means people are more helpful than rich pricks. I learned that they are more free too. There's freedom in poverty I guess.
I learned that you're never alone, even when it certainly seems so. I learned that, no matter what happens to you, what counts ultimately, is your attitude. The way you face mishaps, tragedy, disappointment, loss. Attitude is everything. A good attitude will take you a long way and it might help you make the best of everything and learn some valuable lessons in life.
So, I guess my guardian angel did a good job, after all... ;-)
Sonia.

Mi diverto con poco

Come mi piace scrivere quando ho ospiti in casa. Il motivo e' molto semplice: e' come guardare una stanza, la stessa stanza che guardi da anni, da un punto diverso. E' come mettersi con le braccia conserte in un altro angolino, dove non ti siedi mai, e fissare le stesse sedie, lo stesso tavolo, gli stessi quadri, le fotografie. Da li si vedono alcune molliche di pane cadute sul pavimento di cui non ti eri mai accorto prima o magari c'e' anche qualche ragnatela sul soffitto che ci avresti giurato che l'avevi pulito bene...
Altre volte capita che ti accorgi di un piccolo particolare, l'intagliatura di una sedia, un pezzettino di legno scheggiato del tavolo, un anello creduto perso che invece era li sotto quella poltrona per tutto quel tempo. 
Sono bei momenti quelli. E' come rimescolare un po' la stessa zuppa che mangi tutte le sere e magari cambia un po' sapore. 
La mia mente si annoia facilmente e devo tenerla sempre impegnata. Percio' adoro quando posso darle qualcosa di diverso da fare, come guardare la realta' attraverso gli occhi degli altri, soprattutto quelli di qualcuno che osserva le tue sedie, il tuo tavolo e i tuoi quadri, per la prima volta. I particolari che notera'...su cosa si concentrera'? Cosa gli piacera' di quella sedia e cosa gli sembrera' strano di quel tavolo? E poi parlarne per ore. Mi diverto con poco.